Restrictedzone

Today where life is taking me i don't know feeling very different inside me . All the thoughts feelings emotions are mixed up ...may be i am overthinking may be i am protective....may be i am tired of getting hurt ....may be not ready to trust any one actually i am not ready to trust myself again. I know nothing is gonna stay everything comes in my life is for momentary...they stay and go as per their own convience and i keep waiting for them ... I am not ok and i am fine to admit i am not ok ...i am low . I don't want to hurt or get hurt either...i know it's all in my head but my doubt are very strong .... Whenever u want u come and go ...after few days again i will be shattered because agian I will be unwanted in life ...ur ignorance will kill me ...i don't know how to stop u or let go u completely. What i am fighting is inner me than u ...am i making any sense or i am so vulnerable that my words are lost in a cyclone of emotions. Na aage ka kuch soch saku na peeche k...

 What u looking at ? he asked  Looking a person who understand me, understand  hidden meaning of  my sarcastic one-liners. Who read between the lines .Who listen to me like dad listen to kiddo stories .Who sees real me with whom i can be without any filters...with whom i can be true myself with all the colours even the grey . Who knows how it feels to be broken and mend again like a porcelain mended with experience and patience.who has been in long journey of healing process ... whether healed or no but given a try ....  Who respect me live emotions pain not judging me about my past my shadow my dark side ....my decisions my fear ... Who know it hard to get attached who knows very well how we get stuck and can't move a inch who knows how one leaves pieces behind and come undone ...who knows it's ok to be just ok .... Who is standing for real not for namesake ...who when call my  name it makes me alive bring me from Frozenzone . Kuch logo ka sirf sath hona h...

  Today what i am is completely changed person .....people called me thunder people called me werid...they can call me anything they want but i needed that change I wanted to be vocal about my pain about my choice .... I don't want to be taken for granted anymore. I don't want to be someone's second choice . I don't want to be punching bag of someone. Yes i have changed myself like the colour of maple tree has changed in autumn...which gives us hope life keep revolving and keep changing still it's breathing and alive . I want to be more than ok more than flesh more than just a person standing in crowd . I don't want to carry any old baggages in new me ... May be the reflection what i see in mirror is completely different from old me but that is life people keep changing themselves... I was stuck in that zone by ur words ur presence but now i have broke that cage . New me has born don't know how much she can fly but i have given her wings strength courage to ...