Restrictedzone

Love change the path but leaves the marks on the way .Today I was walking on trail of it it . I saw a oldest mark of very initial days when we meet 1st time . The memory was so Vivid. You were friends with my friend slowly we became friends. I started liking you so much wanted to see u every single day,but i understood you like someone else. I prayed you guys be together but my little was crushed. Soon we lost touch and we meet again when millenium boom Orkut came all were searching long lost friends crush .I still remember I was in my office evening i searched your name and your name popped immediately dropped message asking R u same from my school whole time I was praying reply yes . Moment I saw message I heart popped out of my chest my throat was dry my eyes were so hopeful cheeks were red.I was knowing ur not mine but dil toh hai dil Man liya tha tum mere nahi  Man liya tha tum par mera koi haq nahi  Man liya tha mai koi nahi  Par dil ne kaha ruk jaaa pass jaaa shaya...

Having no contact with the person whom once you called home is real pain . The void silence in the room is filled with all the unsaid words . I am sitting on chair in silence replaying all the memories in my mind feeling your presence and hearing the laughter once we shared. Suddenly heart is heavy and eyes are wet to realise the absence of you . It feels like loosing a part of me part by part,the part which i never said goodbye the part i never gave permission to leave .  "It's not goodbye which hurts it's a flashback which keep coming" Feeling "what could have been "if we stayed. Once again room is dark as sun has set and it is filled with silence emptiness around me . I got up from swing took empty cup of coffee in hand and while washing cup cold tap water bought me in present. I stayed silent.

  Tenu paake bhi dekh liya, mai tenu kho ke bhi dekh liya. Tere khwaba vich aai jaa, mai tenu soke bhi dekh liya. Aankha sukhdi hii na, mai roke bhi dekh liya. Menu raas na aaya ishq mai tera hoke vi dekh liya. I am sorry i can't handle things anymore for both of us .I been standing like rock solid for many people in my life . May it be family ,friends known and unknown people.I was expecting you to stand like rock for us but whenever we fought or argued we only drifted apart more and more . Now we have reached to the point where both of us are standing on two different sides of road and we both can't hear each other and there is lot of smog between us neither we can see each other. Whenever i came to you with my insecurities issues problems all you did is heard them and ignored them,may be i was cribbing lot maybe you were looking something else in me and all you got is damaged piece . The damage you have not done but yes couldn't repair them either as you thought so.I don...

 Sahi keh raha tha woh ,mai hi galat hu apni hi dhun mai hu . Apne man mai bahut kuch tai kar leti hu aur soch leti hu ke yahi chahiye mujhe ...har baar yahi hi socha ki usse bhi shayad mai hi chaiye hu . Dekho toh aaj mai akele hi khadi hu yaha, soch kar woh aayega par nahi aaya woh phir bhi umeed nahi chodi hai.Hasti rehti hu apne andar samandar liye chalti rehti hu par roh dehti hu,koi pyar se halka sa chule toh.Mere andar ka samandar bhene lagta hai khud pe kabu pana aab mere bas mai nahi , Aaj yahi toh hua mere saath achanak ma'am me peet PE haath rakh ke pucha tum thik ho ....achanak Jo mere andar bhara tha woah bahar aagaya aur mai khub rone lagi . Pata hi nahi chala mai itni bhari hui thi. Dubara utke phir hass ke gum kar diya aapne aap ko bheed mai.Hassi ke shor mai jaha kisi ko na dikhaie diya meri aakho mai dard sab ko laga sab thik hai  aur mai na kha phir kaha  yeah all ok ....I am ok

 Waqt hi nahi tha uske pass ya mujhse milne ki tadap ? Kuch sawalon se shuru hai aaj ka din kya kabhi mai zaroori thi ... Hello Birthday girl ... khud hi ko wish kar liya apne birthday pe kyon ki usne nahi kiya uski galti nahi hai mai zaruri nahi thi kabhi itni .... Does anyone knows where the switch is ? To off these feeling i am having for him . All the time i am having  feelings for him . I am tired of this feeling i am having for him ,I am trying to live in peace and let him too .Pata nahi what i want what i am expecting from him still. I know very well in all this we both are getting hurt ...no one is getting anything out of it . "Tujhe bhulna mere bas me nahi Tujhe pana mere bas mein nahi  , Ek teri yaad hai jo mere saath hai Warna ye galiya ye sheher ye duniya sab barbaad hai " Everything is so mess complicated between us kuch hai bhi aur kuch hai hi nahi .Lost in my thoughts sometimes i wonder what i am holding on to so long every memory we had has become blur ,St...

  Tujhe padne ki fursat nahi mili aur hum bikte rahe kitabo ki tarah . Long long ago ho gaya ab story mai iss baar jab baat hui toh ehsas hua kitna arsa hua humhe baat karke  kehen ko aas pass hi the paar durr hi the .... Tujhe milne ki chahat itni thi ki eshas hi na hua kab hum hum na rahe aur aam ban gaye . Aaj dekha khud ko aaine mein toh safedi baalo mai ehsas kara rahi thi mai umar ke naye padaoo pe aagayi hu ab woh phele wali mai nahi hu ....par kya woh ehas kaam hua jo tumhare liye tha ...inhe sawalon mein uljhi apni lato ko suljarali thi..... Jo samhe thi jiska aks tha woh toh koi aur thi jo badal gayi thi chehre par lakire thi bahut sari. Kuch chehre par kuch uske kirdar par ....Phir usne apana palla samhala chehre par muskan layi mahte paar bindiya lagai aur aaine par se dhund hatai ....aab kuch jani phechani  si thi woh .... Nikalte Nikalte usne hasi hooto se chipka li jisse koi sawal na utte kyu ho tum udas kyu tum hari aankhen bolti hai bahut kuch ....aur phi...